This... THIS is why I'd never want to relive my teenage years.
All that doubt, wondering, alienation---Ugh. Ben is a great narrator. At times, you want to cringe and others cheer, but like life, it has its ups and downs. To know something about yourself at a young age that makes you significantly different is an experience that isolates. Growth is different, changed and lonely.
Ben's early teen years came with a harsh lesson. Not all epiphanies lead to happiness. But like a good sword, it gets stronger with each fold and hammer blow. Ben doesn't falter. His resilience is admirable and he's so far ahead of others in his personal growth that he has no confidant to share his hopes, dreams and desires--except for his best friend, Allison.
Allison is the consummate friend who will support you, cheer you, and tell you when you're an idiot or fuck off when you've screwed up, but in the end they're there. I liked that there was a good give and take to their friendship and not everything had an easy solution. And let's face it, they have serious disagreements about Tim.
Tim. We all had one of these at some point, the elusive, unreachable, ungettable get. Ben is goofy and awkward and squeezes his way into Tim's life--as barren as it is. Ben is the best thing that's ever happened to Tim and he can't accept it. Heart ripped out #1.
Sucks, but first loves are like that. Reboot. What happens then is Ben's journey to find love. Real love. The kind that is proud, never hides, and surrounds you like a blanket--Jace. Talk about wonderful. Fucking love Jace so hard, and so does Ben. But, the past doesn't always stay in the past...
Heart ripped out #2--bad choice
Heart ripped out #3--I don't want to talk about it. Took me three days to even think about writing this review because of it. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I liked this story. I liked that there was a slightly non traditional trajectory with some realism. At the end, part of me felt like we got to eat our cake and have it, too. It's just a bittersweet cake.
Overall, an emotional journey that slaps you around
Favorite quote:
"‘ Teach me how to fly, my beautiful butterfly.’” He reached out and ruffled Ben’s hair, his version of a parting kiss."
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