LOST BOY by Christina Henry

3.5 Stars

"Peter's idea of fun was considerably more savage than his."

This was a quick read. The first portion of the story reminded me a great deal of LORD OF THE FLIES, albeit more gory and less allegory. The innocence of PETER PAN is twisted into something very dark, here. I don't want to ruin the fun of it, so I'm not going to expand further on the storyline other than to say it does an very interesting job exploring some previously untold backstory.

"They weren't forever young, unless dying when you were young kept you that way for always."

I enjoyed this, but it is not sophisticated; it's an engaging retelling, a twist of the kaleidoscope. I don't think I'll ever reread it, but it was a fun ride. If you like what WICKED did for THE WIZARD OF OZ than you'll like this.

SACRE BLEU: A COMEDY D'ART by Christopher Moore

4 Stars

"Why are you lying on the floor?"
"Solidarity. And we ran out of cognac. This is my preferred out of cognac posture."

Ooh la la! Yes, this is absolutely an art history wankfest. Some of it, actually a good deal of it is startlingly true and there are some liberties taken for the story's sake, but I have to say that all the little toss away lines, the references for Michelangelo, cave paintings in France to Artemisia Gentileschi evidence a great deal of thought and research. The elements work well with the storyline.

"No, a fucking cat. It's a theme, Lucien. The name of the place is Le Chat Noire."
"Yes, but when you did the poster for the Moulin Rouge you didn't do a clown fucking a windmill."
"Sadly, no, they rejected my first drawings. And I'm good friends with one of the clowns there, Cha-U-Kao. She would have modeled for me. She's both a clown and a lesbian. At the same time! Art weeps for the missed opportunity."
"You could still paint her," said Lucien.
"No. She hates cats. But what magnificent symbolism that would be. I tell you, Lucien, these symbolists, Redon and Gaugin, they're on to something."

To successfully mock something requires a familiarity of the material beyond recitation. It necessitates being able to take knowledge and twist it. Moore does a fantastic job creating an engaging mystery set in Post Impressionist Paris. Impressionism and Post Impressionism are not my favorites, so I was surprised that I enjoyed this vision as much as I did. Honestly, I've never had a fond feeling for Toulouse-Lautrec, but this really does a bang up job of presenting an alternate view of him.

"I have done some experiments with absinthe, and I can attest that it has dangerous hallucinogenic powers, in particular the ability to make homely women appear attractive."
"Well, it's eighty percent alcohol and the wormwood in it is poisonous. I suspect what you are seeing are glimpses of your own death."
"Yes, but with exquisite bosoms. How do you explain those?"

The mystery of Bleu, the Sacre Bleu... I'm not going to spoil it. It's good. Definitely entertaining and one can expect that requisite Moore vulgarity, lighthearted attitude towards violence, and wit.

"Forgive me, I didn't realize you were both deaf and a buffoon. I am, as I was ten seconds ago the Count Henri-Marie-Raymond de Toulouse-Lautrec-Monfa, and I am looking for Carmen Gaudin." Henri was finding the detective work did not agree with his constitution as it involved talking to people who were odd or stupid, without the benefit of the calming effect of alcohol.

OR...

Lucien looked to each of them then grimaced. "Good God, Henri, is that smell coming from you?"
"I was going to come right over as soon as I heard you were awake, but the girls insisted on giving me a bath first. I sat vigil for you for a week, my friend."
"One sits vigil over the dying, not ten blocks away, on a pile of whores, out of his mind on opium and absinthe." 

If you're offended by any of the quotes then Moore is really not an author I'd recommend, but for others, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I found the syphilis jokes entertaining, too. Seriously, it's pretty interesting how many of the artists died of syphilis and Toulouse-Lautrec, for all his infamous brothel living, was not one of them!

Words to live by:

"That's a horrible plan."
"Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that."

CAIN by José Saramago

3 Stars

"Blessed are those who choose sedition because theirs is the kingdom of Earth."

CAIN is to the Old Testament as DECAMERON is to 14th century (Catholic) Church.

One could argue, quite easily that it is blasphemous. Cain is the protagonist in this time traveling jaunt through the highlights of 'What was God thinking?' in the Old Testament.

This is small taste as Cain witnesses a discussion between Abraham and Isaac:

"Father, I don't understand this religion, But you have to, my son you have no choice, and now I must make a request, a humble request, What is it, Let us forget what happened here, Well, I am not sure I can, father, I can still see myself bound, lying on top of the pyre, and your arm raised, the blade of the knife glinting, That wasn't me, I would never do such a thing in my right mind, Do you mean that the lord makes people mad, asked isaac, Yes, he often does, almost always, replied abraham, Even if that were true, you were still the one with the knife in your hand, [...]

I transcribed this exactly as presented in my ebook copy, including lack of full stops which is a little tricky with the dialogue shifts since the only clue is first letter capitalization. The lack of proper name capitalization was less disconcerting. That said, the formatting made this more difficult. I don't know if the print version has a different layout so it resemble verse instead of prose, but as this is, my eyes had a hard time tracking and skipped lines which necessitated rereading. It was least favorite part of the book.

This book is basically a humorous version of the thoughts that go through my mind when faced with the Bible.

"The road to self-deception is narrow to begin with, but there is always someone to broaden it out, for as the proverb says, self-deception is like eating or scratching, it's all a matter of beginning."

And for any persons feeling the need to tell me I'm going to hell, don't bother.

I feel like I've made progress. Usually when I take these quizzes, I end up in level 7 with the warmongers and suicidals drowning in a river of boiling blood.

Buzzfeed Quiz:  Which Circle of Hell are You Going to?

Favorite quote: 

According to the ancients, the devil's wiles would never prevail over the will of god, but I'm not sure now that things are that simple, it seems likely that satan is just another instrument of lord, the one who does the dirty work to which god prefers not to put his name.

THESE OLD SHADES by Georgette Heyer

4 Stars

GAH! I adore Georgian period romances. The ridiculous extravagance and theatricality of action and costume are simply divine.

"I thought you disliked melodrama, my friend?"
"I do; but I have a veritable passion for--justice."
"You've nourished thoughts of vengeance--for twenty years?"

Other pluses which definitely made this a win: Heroine disguised as a boy, swordplay as well as hoydenish behaviors overlaid with a sweet naïveté; and an older sworn bachelor and renown rake charmed back into life's pleasure from the malaise of ennui. It's Pygmalion with far more entertaining circumstances.

The button of her foil came to rest below his left shoulder.
"Touche," said Avon. "That was rather better, infant."
Leonie danced in her excitement.
"Monseigneur, I have killed you! You are dead! You are dead!"
"You display an unseemly joy," he remarked. "I had no notion you were so bloodthirsty."

If you like historical romances, brats, and an age difference then you really can't go wrong, here. I feel rather silly that the title was so off-putting to me that I failed to read it earlier. And yes, I comprehended the ancient Greek concept of shade, but dismissed the opportunity. Rather stupid of me, to be honest.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN by Cormac McCarthy

4 Stars

Reflections, times they are a changing. Aren't they always, and not. 

There aint no such thing as a bargain promise.

This is one of those 'things set in motion' stories. You know there's a train wreck coming and you're just holding on, watching it speeding towards you. A sense of the inevitable, that's the overwhelming feeling of this book from the individual events occurring to life itself. There's no escaping the past because it's what's led you to where you are, right now. It's not fate; it's consequences.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I'm going to go off on a tangent now, so feel free to stop reading or skip ahead. Since the 2016 election my reading has dramatically altered course as I search for an answer. I see all the pieces, I understand the the real basis of discontent, but of all the choices available it was the most destructive option chosen and it confused/confuses me. Chaos was chosen willingly, enthusiastically. 

But it was a foolish thing to do. A vain thing to do. Do you understand? 

Do I understand? 

Yes. 

Do you have any notion of how goddamned crazy you are? 

The nature of this conversation? 

The nature of you.

A battle royale. A Game of Thrones. 

That's the opening scene. It's stark and beautiful and horrifyingly relevant. Death. And lying in those ruins among the dying and rotting is something that seems to be an opportunity. Moss makes a decision. Moss is dumber than dirt. 

Chirugh is a wonderful character, and in a way this story reminds me of The Seventh Seal.

I want to reread this one, again after a break. McCarthy's style of writing is just different enough that I was conscious of reading the entire time. The lack of quotation marks, vague character identifiers, and colloquial language meant that I couldn't just slide into it. It was like sitting on a hard wooden pew; you never forget you're there. 

Favorite quote:

How does a man decide in what order to abandon his life?

NORSE MYTHOLOGY by Neil Gaiman

3 Stars

Gaiman put together a compilation of favorite tales from Norse mythology and retold them in his own voice. Stories die out if they're not told, and this collection pays homage to the bards of old by reweaving the tales for a new audience. This gives an overview of Norse mythology following key events from the beginning to Ragnarok.

I had a few favorites:

Sleipnir's origins--LOL Loki.

Freya's wedding--LOL Thor.

Loki's children--I have a soft spot for Fenrir.

Poor Freya. The gods are always ready to throw her under the bus by marrying her off.

Again, Loki. The whole deal with the billy goat took some serious cojones.

Finally, it ends as it should with Ragnarok:

This will be the age of cruel winds, the age of people who become as wolves, who prey upon each other, who are no different than wild beasts. Twilight will come to the world, and the places that humans live will fall into ruins, flaming briefly, then crashing down and crumbling into ash and devastation. 

So, some readers are probably going, 'why did he bother?" Well, for one, I've had a few sagas on my to be read list for quite sometime and while I really enjoy reading them: The Táin: From the Irish epic Táin Bó Cúailnge, Y Gododdin, Beowulf, etc., they were not easily accessible to read. Frankly, this was painless and fun because you could laugh at the stories without decoding them. So, for an introduction to readers of all ages--okay maybe not young children because the gods were not PC creatures and there's some funny stories here that a teen to adult would be better situated to understand.

I am now ready for Ragnarok!

What???

Another recommendation fail, though it would be extraordinarily interesting to see them shelved together.